totally worth it

Photo by: Rae Clevett

I remember thinking during my pregnancy that the nausea/indigestion/vomiting and other wonderful things that came with it was an ordeal. Then that was forgotten as soon as labour set in. And now even the labour has already become somewhat of a distant memory as well as the first few weeks of recovery postpartum. As I deal with yet another obstacle - mastitis (breast infection). The last two weeks has been an ordeal and brought a ton of tears. I didn't know I had such a strong opinion on breastfeeding. I absolutely believe that it's the mother's choice. But I didn't know that it would be mine. I went into this pregnancy with the thought that I would try to bf at least. I wanted to. But if it didn't work out, I wouldn't kick myself for it. No expectations (a Bikram yoga motto that I embraced) - I thought. Well let me tell you, bf is not as easy as it looks. This was my thought just a week or so ago. The reason why I developed the infection was most likely because of bad latches and not emptying the breasts completely due to poor latches. And all along I thought I was doing okay. It hurt here and there and I thought it was normal because I had it instilled in my head that it's supposed to hurt for the first month or so until my nipples "toughen up". I was really ready to give up this bond with my baby two weeks ago because I just did not think I could do it properly. Oh and because I kept thinking about the pain in my breast that I felt the first night of the infection - like someone was sawing off my breast every time baby sucked. Literature says best way to treat infection is to keep nursing and so I did (it did feel better the next feed because I started the antibiotic and took Tylenol/Advil). We've seen a bf consultant a few times already and things are improving (breasts are softer bc milk is more regulated now and nipples are also a bit softer which makes latching for me a lot easier - I think her mouth has grown a little bigger too:)).

I love watching her little face nestled up to my breast every time I nurse her and feel so proud that I'm the reason she's so plump! And grateful I'm too persistent to quit (even though my indecisiveness can get the better of me - in this case it helped bc I couldn't make up my mind in quiting or not). Eddie also pointed out that we feed Mylo a natural raw diet so it's the right thing (for us) to do for Myelle.

For you ladies who are planning on getting pregnant and plan on successfully bf'ing, please don't go in "winging it" like I did. Instead, check out Dr. Jack Newman's books and dvd. Even though I bought it a little late, it still helped.